Dear Hockey | Kyla Lane

Dear hockey,

I miss you.

I know you’ll be back, but it’s hard without you. If anything, not having you has made me realize just how much you mean to me. I guess distance does make the heart grow fonder.

Some people tell me that you’re just a game, but you’re so much more than that. 

You are the reason I am who I am today.

Without you, I’m not sure who or where I’d be; you’ve allowed me to find myself and be myself.

I still remember the time I loved you so much that I skated all the way to the opposite end of the rink, despite my mom’s warnings, and my four-year-old legs were too tired to get me back.

I still remember the early mornings I’d get dressed in the basement, jump in the car, and run into the rink for practice.

I still remember the days when I didn’t believe in myself and was unsure of my purpose, but you showed me the way.

I still remember how you made me feel, and still do: like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.

You always make me feel like a somebody. You always make me feel like I belong. You always make me feel like I can achieve more than I ever thought possible.

You know, I’m not sure I’d have gotten this far without you; I’ve had a lot of dark days and nights, but you pulled me through a lot of those. You’ve helped me overcome and manage my mental health struggles. You give me a purpose and you help me realize that this life really is beautiful — and I know you do the same for a lot of other people.

You’re so much more than just a game for me.

All of the amazing people I have in my life are thanks to you. It’s true what they say, the hockey community is a special breed of people and you’ve given me a hockey family like no other.

After long days, you’re my refuge.

When my mind is telling me I’m not worthy, you show me how much worth I have.

When I’m at my lowest, you lift me up.

There’s times I question myself. There’s times I feel alone. There’s times I wonder if things will be okay. But you’re always there to remind me that I have the answers, I’m not alone, and things will always be okay.

You’ve given me my career and allowed me to strive for my biggest dreams.

You have taught me more than I can ever say, and all I’ve ever wanted to do is teach others how important you can be in their lives.

I know I’m just a beer league player now, but you still make me feel like I’m on top of the world.

Sometimes I forget just how much I appreciate you and how much you do for me, but I promise I never take you for granted.

Thank you, hockey, for allowing me to be me — someone I’m incredibly proud of.

You impact more than you’ll ever know, and more than most people will ever know, unless they’ve felt what having you in their life can do.

I know you’ll be back soon, and I’ve learned to appreciate you so much more, but that doesn’t mean I won’t miss you in the mean time.

See you soon,

-K

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