Hey Folks ... Coach Nye here ...
Confidence..how is yours doing these days?
What is the quality of your confidence within?
Have you ever thought of it?
Wow...lot of questions for the first of the week eh? ( opps, there's a another, sorry)
Dealing with athletes these days and it doesn't matter what age or if it is professional or amateur I get the same questions and concerns, "How do I gain more confidence and keep it?"
Well I usually start asking the athlete what they feel their own self-worth is like, then I get into 3 other questions.
Does your confidence have conditions?
If your sense of self-worth relies on your relationship status, job, position on the team or where you rank, then your confidence is conditional.
Conditional confidence works well when those conditions are met (you got the promotion or you made first line), but when your situation changes, so does your self-esteem and emotional well-being. What happens if you get sent down to the minors or you’re let go from a team? You’re back at square one without the self-love to help you bounce back.
Work on building unconditional self-worth instead. “Unconditional confidence is based on applying your values and strengths and appreciating the life you create by doing so.” Is your life—your work, the way you spend your free time, the people you hang out with—aligned with your values? If not, bring them together because that’s where unconditional confidence begins.
Are you confident in some areas but not others?
It’s normal to be a confident athlete but decidedly may not be so confident when it comes to public speaking. Or maybe you’re sure of yourself at work but self-conscious in social situations. That’s OK. You don’t have to be confident with everything. In fact, people who act sure of themselves in all situations are probably either faking it or overestimating their abilities. Being secure in your innate worth as a person, even if you’re terrible at tennis or shy at parties, is what matters. True confidence, according to Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D., author of The Self-Esteem Workbook, is an “honest, appreciative opinion” of yourself that accounts for your strengths and weaknesses.
So how does that translate to happiness? People who believe in their innate worth “strive for excellence with less pressure or fear of failure, since coming up short of a goal does not diminish who they are as a person,” Schiraldi says. When you aren’t afraid of failure, you try more new things and pursue more goals than people who are.
Do you believe in other people’s innate worth?
True confidence is not just about your estimation of yourself. It’s also about how you value others. “People who are high in healthy self-esteem are also high in healthy humility,” Schiraldi says. “They recognize that all people are valuable and have much to learn.” And valuing other people for all of their strengths and weaknesses is how social bonds are sparked and solidified. The people you associate with and appreciate every day—your friends, family, and team-mates—are the cornerstones of happiness.
So think about again for a minute......What is the quality of your confidence within?
Love to hear your own thoughts on this!
Until next time